My writing class is going superb. I genuinely look forward to it every week. What's more, it has successfully gotten me to write so much more! Months and months of writer's block has been banished with plenty of good prompts that I care about, and great, easy, non-pressure exercises.
Last night, we started on the topic of desires. The exercise was to pick one of the desires from our lists, and write about it for 10 minutes without stopping. This is the usual assignment, but also as usual, there is a twist. The first round, we write in first person, and the second round is written in second person. The difference in the pieces is so interesting and greatly varied by author and topic. Here are mine!
-Tash
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Let’s be honest. I don’t know what the hell I want. At all. Except one thing - love. I want love. It’s obvious. But excruciatingly difficult for me to admit it. Love has been the most powerful and amazing thing I have received and given in the last year. Yes, love. Not hiking. Not camping. Not delicious wine or food. Not indefinite horizons. Just love. Pure, selfless, uncontrollable, unbreakable, God honest, raw, amazing love.
And i want it in all ways - family, friends and yes - a partner. An adventure partner. That special someone who looks at me so stone cold deep into my eyes I can feel those dark brown circles burning a hole through to the back of my skull. “I’m freaking in love with you.” Frightening, hilarious and...wonderful! Finally. Thank goodness.
“Be safe.” Simple words. Simple sentences.But they are like cement on my heart - heavy. Rough. Unshakeable.
I don’t know how to balance this deep desire with other desires. Love is constant and will follow me wherever I go geographically. However, it may get bombarded and interrupted with new love. Will my love to and from my family be as strong and resilient if I’m on the other side of the world? Can I expect to not love a potential adventure partner in my home state while I meet countless new potentials around the world?
When do I decide to drop all other things for the love to or from another? How do I know which love is stronger? Maybe that’s how I know - leave it. Test it. Sounds immature. And I’m not a game player - I just don’t know what the fuck I want to do.
“What do you think I should do with my life?” I asked my number one love - my brother. Yes, you’ve heard of him before. But all he wants is for me to find my real love.
“Well, do you miss it?” Jesus, do I? I don’t know. I’m scared I’d miss you. And everyone.
Where do I go next? Why can’t I come up with more interesting things to say about this topic when it may be my number one desire?
I want to be cared for, held, hugged, regard above all others - but stay independent.
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You are so loved. How on earth could you desire something so much that you already have in your back pocket? ...And in the palm of your hand. Around your entire soul. You know this because your heart starts pounding out of your chest at the thought of writing about this topic.
You are amazing and you always have been. You know this too. And whichever direction you choose, love will follow you. You know this. Why do I have to tell you? And I can’t even tell you in reality, but my words will flow through your hand and the ink of your pen onto paper so that you can be reminded of the deep, uncontrollable, raw, unshakable love I have for you, and always will have.
You feel it in the sun beaming on your skin, you hear it with the birds chirping in the morning, you see it during every sunrise and sunset. You are brought back to moments of true, selfless awe-inspiring love. And you’ve had so many of those moments, you know without a doubt that there are countless more to come. How exciting is that?
You have so much to look forward to giving and receiving in such a variety of ways - going back to Uganda, baking healthy treats, or simply lending a listening ear. That’s where you shine best and you also have so many ears around you to hear your tale. You just have to tell it. Don’t be afraid to share. Don’t be afraid to listen. Go.
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Let’s be honest. I don’t know what the hell I want. At all. Except one thing - love. I want love. It’s obvious. But excruciatingly difficult for me to admit it. Love has been the most powerful and amazing thing I have received and given in the last year. Yes, love. Not hiking. Not camping. Not delicious wine or food. Not indefinite horizons. Just love. Pure, selfless, uncontrollable, unbreakable, God honest, raw, amazing love.
And i want it in all ways - family, friends and yes - a partner. An adventure partner. That special someone who looks at me so stone cold deep into my eyes I can feel those dark brown circles burning a hole through to the back of my skull. “I’m freaking in love with you.” Frightening, hilarious and...wonderful! Finally. Thank goodness.
“Be safe.” Simple words. Simple sentences.But they are like cement on my heart - heavy. Rough. Unshakeable.
I don’t know how to balance this deep desire with other desires. Love is constant and will follow me wherever I go geographically. However, it may get bombarded and interrupted with new love. Will my love to and from my family be as strong and resilient if I’m on the other side of the world? Can I expect to not love a potential adventure partner in my home state while I meet countless new potentials around the world?
When do I decide to drop all other things for the love to or from another? How do I know which love is stronger? Maybe that’s how I know - leave it. Test it. Sounds immature. And I’m not a game player - I just don’t know what the fuck I want to do.
“What do you think I should do with my life?” I asked my number one love - my brother. Yes, you’ve heard of him before. But all he wants is for me to find my real love.
“Well, do you miss it?” Jesus, do I? I don’t know. I’m scared I’d miss you. And everyone.
Where do I go next? Why can’t I come up with more interesting things to say about this topic when it may be my number one desire?
I want to be cared for, held, hugged, regard above all others - but stay independent.
----------------------------------
You are so loved. How on earth could you desire something so much that you already have in your back pocket? ...And in the palm of your hand. Around your entire soul. You know this because your heart starts pounding out of your chest at the thought of writing about this topic.
You are amazing and you always have been. You know this too. And whichever direction you choose, love will follow you. You know this. Why do I have to tell you? And I can’t even tell you in reality, but my words will flow through your hand and the ink of your pen onto paper so that you can be reminded of the deep, uncontrollable, raw, unshakable love I have for you, and always will have.
You feel it in the sun beaming on your skin, you hear it with the birds chirping in the morning, you see it during every sunrise and sunset. You are brought back to moments of true, selfless awe-inspiring love. And you’ve had so many of those moments, you know without a doubt that there are countless more to come. How exciting is that?
You have so much to look forward to giving and receiving in such a variety of ways - going back to Uganda, baking healthy treats, or simply lending a listening ear. That’s where you shine best and you also have so many ears around you to hear your tale. You just have to tell it. Don’t be afraid to share. Don’t be afraid to listen. Go.
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