Noises

I forgot about how noisy my head can be. I walked about 3 miles over to where I am sitting right now, and boy did my thoughts run wild. Everything from jobs, to how I am traveling, to friends at home, family, romantic interests, hiking, buses, etc. It just went everywhere, second guessing what I am doing, trying to figure out what I'll do next. Am I doing things right? Why haven't I found a working gig I like yet? Why haven't I made more friends that I am hanging out with again? All of the doubts totally uncalled for, but there.

Overall, I'm kinda freaking out. Yesterday 6 months in New Zealand didn't sound like enough time. Today, it seems like a very long time. I don't know what I am doing and it seems like other travelers do. That things are falling into place, they're meeting people, they have a plan. I feel a bit lost. I know I am only on day 3 of solo travel, but ... That's just how I am feeling. I could use some encouragement I guess. Maybe I just don't think I am making any progress. But do I need to be making progress?! Maybe I am struggling with not having my own car...which I haven't had to deal with since I was 16. However, this is something I want to experience. Maybe I just need a hug, or to talk to my family on the phone, or to just get a really nice message from someone I don't expect to get a really nice message from.

I guess it's just one of those days. On the surface, it looks amazing. But in my head, it's a struggle. And I am trying to follow my heart. I guess I'll just stick to that for now and deal with the rest later.