Hesitate to answer

"What did you study?"

"What do you do back home?"

"Where are you from?"

These are the three questions you will get asked while travelling. The answers you give are supposed to define who you are. If someone is asking about what you study, they are probably between the ages of 18 and 24. If they ask what you do for a living, what your occupation is, or what you do back home, they are in the 24+ range most likely. Everyone will ask where are you from, including myself.

I don't know why others ask, if they even think about it. But I don't always ask. I don't let those words trickle off my tongue just in order to make small talk. I usually ask because I am wondering if I guessed correctly in my head based off their accent. I have friends scattered throughout most of the world and when I hear an accent that sounds familiar I get excited and think, "this person must be from the same country as [insert name here]!" A lot of the time I am off. There's also the times I can't place an accent at all. That's even more intriguing. But I'm not sure why others ask. Why do they care? Is it really important? It's pretty obvious usually if someone is local or not.

Back to identity... Do most people identify with the country they are from? Maybe so. I'm not sure I do. And I've met heaps of travellers that don't either. They actually kinda despise the culture of their home country, particularly because it is so far from how he/she defines him/herself! Maybe that's the difference - if you do identify with where you are from or what you do or what you study then you gladly answer the question or are eager to ask the others around you because you believe this is how you get to know him/her.

One of my new roommates today asked me, "what did you study?" immediately after learning my name. "Maths and Sociology," I replied, not with my exact majors name, but the international equivalent. "Oh you must be very intelligent then," he said confidently. Am I? You've deduced that I'm intelligent based off of my name and my major. That's it?!

"What do you do back at home?" Man do I hate this question. Last year it was fun to answer. This year...it sucks. There is not an easy way to answer. Well, I guess there could be, but I'm not going to give my audience the answer that he/she wants! What do I do? Well, I in the last year I've been a...
Caregiver for a cancer patient
Writing student
Through hiker in the California Sierras
Musician
Beertender
Baker

And of course, a traveller.

However, I do not respond with any of these. I've found myself saying something to the affect of, "I'm a former business analyst for the tech industry and I'm currently seeking out a new career." I guess that's good and accurate, but what do you gain from this information?

Here's some better questions to ask people you just met while travelling, or anywhere! Maybe at the bar, the gym, or hey what about Tinder aye? Haha

What is the most important thing in your life?

How would you define yourself?

What are your top three hobbies?

What gets you up in the morning?

What do you look forward to every day or week?

What's your story?

I would love to answer these questions! Put yourself in the situation - you're at a bar and an average male/female comes up and asks you, "what do you do for a living?
...
How do you feel? How do you respond? What's your posture? What's your tone? Are you excited to answer? Are you intrigued? Do you want to ask him/her a question back? Do you smile or frown or have no expression? Do you make eye contact or look down at your drink or glance at your friend?

Now, imagine the same average male/female walks up at the bar and asks, "how would you define yourself?" or "what's your story?" or "what brought you here?"
...
Some of you might initially be thrown off and turned off by such intrusive questions. But work with me here. Take a moment, and think about actually answering them.
...
How do you feel? Don't worry about the fact that someone is going against social norms and asking something unusual, think about actually answering the question.
...
How do you respond? What's your posture? What's your tone? Are you excited to answer? Are you intrigued? Do you want to ask him/her a question back? Do you smile or frown or have no expression? Do you make eye contact or look down at your drink or glance at your friend?

It's hard for me to answer the three questions I mentioned at the top. I don't get excited. I can feel my body sag, my eyes go sideways. I hesitate to answer. It doesn't feel sincere and it doesn't feel important. I'll glance at my friends or down at my drink. I probably won't put an effort into keeping the conversation going. My tone goes downward and I probably shrug and nod my head a lot.

On the other hand, ask me for my story, my top three hobbies, what gets me up in the morning, what I look forward to each day, what is the most important to me or how I define myself, and, well, you've got me! I'm excited. I'm intrigued. I'll smile. I may look to the side, but only while sincerely thinking, not while answering. My posture will be strong and my voice will go up. Lastly, and definitely most importantly, I will for sure want to keep that conversation going!

So, here are my answers, on the top of my head.

What is the most important thing in your life? My brother

How would you define yourself? Active, healthy, loving, musical, down to earth, simple, belonging in nature

What are your top three hobbies?
Hiking, writing, music

What gets you up in the morning?
Delicious food,  coffee, sunrises

What do you look forward to every day or week? Spending time with friends and family laughing and smiling

What's your story?
Well, that's what I'm here to write!

The best part about these questions is that they are constantly evolving. My answers a year ago are different, and some drastically so, than they are now. I would hope yours would be too! This is why some people change careers, locations, partners, friends, and hobbies - we are constantly changing, learning, absorbing new information, meeting new people. At least we should be! Well, that's my opinion. Maybe yours differs.

I hope that you take all of this into consideration and maybe let it marinate for a few days or a week and see how it might affect your day to day. Remember it when you're out, watching TV, or just having dinner with your loved ones, or grabbing a coffee with coworkers. And let me know what you experience. Share your opinions here! Share your answers to the one/many/all of the six questions! Or share a new question you'd like to be ask or to ask others, or that someone has asked you. Or another question you hate. Let's get this conversation going! If you're uncomfortable posting a comment, just email me.

Brought to you from the glow of my phone while sitting on my bed in a four share dorm (the "Zen Room", formerly know as "The Nunnery") while my bright pink ear buds are inserted, Acoustic Guitar Instrumentals Google Play station buzzing in my skull, and my three roommates slumbering around, at 9:41pm in Raglan, New Zealand.

Excited and optimistic,
Tata

P.S. I am going to start adding photos to the blog, and attempt to not post anything on the Facebook. This will be where you get my updates, my stories and my photos. So, please comment or email if you'd like to show your appreciation and such. Thank you!