This was a low point

This morning, I awoke with a twinge of homesickness. I do not recall exactly what induced the sensation, but I do remember thinking a few things, right away and one after another:

I miss my mom
I want to go home and visit my brother

And then those little brown eyes of mine started to well up, just slightly. Maybe one or two tears dropped. This is okay. It is fine. It is good.

I have been living in South Lake Tahoe for a full month now, and I have not left the general region. The farther I have traveled is to Kirkwood Mountain Resort, for work or go on adventures, and to Homewood resort, to snowboard. I believe, this is the longest time I have stayed in one place for probably close to a year. It feels pretty great, but I sense I will be breaking that record fairly soon.

A lot has happened in the last month. My first two weeks here were incredibly rough. I wanted to write about it because the only thing I shared on social media was the good things. I do not like the idea of sharing the struggles and sadness and downfalls of my life somewhere that people do not spend significant time to take in and consume. Here, on my blog, you have to go out of your way. You have an intention in coming here. To read. To hear about my life - the good in the bad. To take in the most vulnerable tidbits of my soul that I am willing to share through my fingertips. Maybe you come here to think  about deep topics of life. Maybe you come here as an escape to your own life. I do not know...but you could tell me why!

The first two weeks I was living in Tahoe, I slept on an air mattress and then a futon, in two different rooms, neither of which were my own room that I came here to live in. In addition, I had a brief period of continued unemployment that became a bit concerning and stressful. Then, after my second day of work, I hit black ice, and busted up my truck. On that same day, I came home to construction zone, to my "bed" (i.e. the futon in the laundry room) covered in dust from the construction because the workers did not have the brains to close the door to that room or to cover up anything in the house. I broke my truck, my neck was hurting, I had no room, no bed, dust over everything, loud obnoxious noises and strangers all around. To top it off, my brother - aka my life line - was out of town and out of reception for at least 4-6 hours longer. This was a low point. A very very VERY low point in my transition.

I cried. I cried A LOT. I cried for hours. Uncontrollably. I ate multiple peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and accompanied it with wine. I hid in my "room". I cried. Did I mention that?

It took me way to long to get my truck to the shop and figure out what the damage was, physically and monetarily. It took me way to long to get a rental vehicle that could survive the snow. It was all incredibly frustrating and demoralizing. But then...then things seemed to just snap in place.

The construction stopped. I had a room with nice floors. My brother brought up my furniture, and I got to furnish my room and sleep in a bed. I put out my photos and all the things I love. I had a steady work schedule. I was making more and more friends every single day. I went to a young professionals group. I went to a Toastmasters group. I signed up for both right away. I applied to some M-F jobs. I interviewed for a job at the company I've been stalking for a month. I went on a date! I expressed myself in a clear and concise way. I started a new community. I held an event...that was successful! I finished an audiobook. I got a new book in the mail. I went dancing. I went on an adventure.

I am happy. I am optimistic. I've experienced bliss. I've been shown disrespect, and stood stronger in response to it than I would have without the occurrence. Things are happening. Very exciting, and big things are going to be coming in the near and distant future.

I lost a bit of control amidst all the excitement, and engaged in a little irresponsibility, but I am resetting today and getting back on track.

Keep an eye out, y'all.

Cheers,
Nat