For ages and not long enough

I seem to have run out of words. I have been feeling incredibly calm and clear. I'm happy. I'm optimistic. I'm pretty damn okay with where my life is at in this moment and where it's headed. I want to hold onto this state, this  energy, indefinitely. I will do whatever it takes to stay here - in this place mentally and emotionally. This space is good. It feels healthy. It feels...right.

Right. That is such a subjective word. But, sometimes, it is the most accurate word to use. Not accurate in a quantitative or definite way. Well, maybe. But in a way that one can't quite say, "I want to do this," or "I should be at this place." Rather, doing these things, with these people, in this place - this is "right."

Last week, leaving Oamaru after only being there for 48 hours, and taking the Intercity Bus back to Dunedin to stay with a new friend, cook chicken curry for dinner and rhubarb crumble for dessert,  go to West Coast Swing dance class, and then end the night with a bubble bath while my friend played piano, all while the only intention was to return back to the farm I was living and working on - that felt right. And it was. The last week has been phenomenal. Life changing. Have I mentioned that yet? Have I written about it yet? I don't think I have. But...drum roll please...I may have figured out my future career. My business. I had three business ideas in the last two weeks. But the last one - wow. We might have a winner. A big winner.

It feels amazing to have had such an idea cross my mind. An idea that is challenging, something no one else is doing (I think), that I'd be good at, that helps other people, and that can incorporate almost all of my favorite things. I have ten new books added to my reading list. I have pages upon pages of notes, writing prompts, and ideas. I have, once again, started another Google doc. And I sincerely cannot wait to get home and start white boarding and putting giant post-it note papers all over my room. Who knows if it will turn into the path for me. For now, it just feels right. It feels right to think about and focus on and bring in additional wisdom to continue the wheels spinning.

Today, it felt right to hitchhike. To my family - I'm sorry. I know you don't like that I do this. I know it sounds dangerous and gypsy-esque. However, in reality, in New Zealand, it is incredible. I honestly feel safer hitchhiking in New Zealand than walking down most streets in the US. I feel more comfortable hitchhiking alone in NZ than going to a bar alone in California. What's more - its pure awesome.

This morning, I awoke at 5:15am. My host and I left Balclutha around 10 till six. He probably dropped me off around quarter past six at the Milton turn off. I was picked up in about two minutes. I rode with a lovely gentleman who installs windows in houses all around Southland and Central Otago of the South Island. We talked about family, rock music, travel, beautiful places, construction, and cooking. We even stopped at a job site so he could measure a window frame that someone else mucked up. And he shared one of his home-made chocolate chip cookies with me. It. Was. Delectable! After he dropped me an hour or so later, in Cromwell, I was picked up again in another minute or two. This guy installs floor heating and solar panels for heating systems. He's younger. We talked about travel, Colorado, California, ski resort jobs, Coachella, and Canmore and Banff, Canada. After he dropped me at the Alexandra turn off, it took me a bit longer for my next ride - maybe five minutes. Haha. I am a lucky girl! A quick ride down the road to the Lake Hayes Estate entrance outside of Frankton, and I was only a 12min walk to my destination. Took me a total of just over four hours total, with drops and pickup time and the stop at the job site, and a pull over for a phone call. Straight from my starting location it would have taken three hours by car. If I bussed, I'd have to get a ride to my first drop off, for a 2:45pm departure, and 6:15pm arrival, out of the way of my actual destination.

Moral of the story? Hitching in New Zealand is awesome. I don't do it often. Today was only my third time ever. So now I have four thumb stick outs that successfully scored a ride. My first hitch ever did not require a thumb, but it's the best one yet because the driver...well I'm staying at her house for the next four nights. Currently waiting for her to scoop me from the cafe. That's why hitching is awesome. And yesterday, and this morning, I just knew it was the right thing to do today. I wasn't going to force it, but give it a try. If I didn't get a ride, I would have walked to town to a cafe and caught the 2:45pm bus. But, life had a path for me today. It was lovely.

I have no idea what the next four days hold. And then, my last two days on this trip. I'm open. I'm excited. I'm relaxed. Maybe nothing significant will happen. That's fine. Maybe something life changing will happen. That's awesome. Maybe I'll make new amazing friends with fantastic energy. Maybe I'll deepen some current friendships. Win win. No matter what.

I'm sure I'll miss the farm and my, what felt like, flat mates. And all the animals. And the beautiful scenery. And the seclusion. The cooking for others. The laughs. The quiet moments together. The sharing music. The dirt. The intellectual conversations. All of it. I was only there for two weeks but, as one of my new friends said, it  feels like I lived there, "for ages, and not long enough." I feel I'll likely be back one day. If not, those weeks, those people, those moments, those animals, those views, the farm, will aways hold a special place in my heart. Always.

Thank you. (You know who you are.)

Growing so much everyday,
Natasha

P.S. I also ticked off a few bucket list items on the farm: snuggling, feeding and caring for a lamband riding in an official racecar! Not at the same time...